


ready, jet, go

by crispierchip



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Getting Together, M/M, Post-Trade, Sharing a Bed, Winnipeg Jets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-10
Updated: 2019-04-10
Packaged: 2020-01-11 03:59:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 11,535
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18422373
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crispierchip/pseuds/crispierchip
Summary: Kevin hears about the trade from the NHL network first.





	ready, jet, go

**Author's Note:**

> i joke tweeted about this one night at like 1am and then it grew three legs and a very serious head, which is the story of my life i guess. the title was supposed to be a joke too except then i thought it worked? idk just go with it!
> 
> many thanks to raregoose for answering my jets related questions and also to everyone who was excited <3

Kevin hears about the trade from the NHL network first. His manager calls him a bit later and confirms it but Kevin more or less holds his breath until Gorton’s call. 

Gorton’s in a rush, Kevin can tell, and he says more or less what Kevin expected. “Winnipeg’s a great team,” and, “It was great having you here,” while chatter goes on in the in the background. 

Kevin says, “Thank you,” and “It was great playing for the Rangers,” and hangs up the phone. And that’s it; Kevin is no longer a Ranger.

+

Kevin’s never been traded before, but he knew it was coming. He signed a one year deal this summer so he’s had time to prepare for it, and he wanted to play for a Stanley Cup competitor anyway. Things with Jimmy haven’t been great either, so Kevin thinks this will be good for him.

The next few hours are still a whirlwind. 

Kevin’s phone is buzzing like crazy, texts from his teammates and his agent and his family. Kevin takes the time to text back his brother and his mom, and then he sets his phone aside and starts packing. 

He tries to make a list in his head of everything he’ll need, which basically consists of his warmest suits and thickest sweaters. It’s cold in Winnipeg  — Kevin googled the weather.

He’s just finished packing his first bag when there’s a knock on his door, Brady. “Hey,” he says. He both sounds and looks like a kicked puppy. 

Kevin sighs but doesn’t stop trying to cram more clothes into the suitcase. “I told you it was happening,” he says. 

“Doesn’t mean I have to like it, man,” Brady argues. He takes one look at Kevin’s bed with the clothes strewn everywhere and asks, “You need anything?”

“A ride to the airport?” Kevin asks. “Later?”

“You got it.” Brady nods. 

Kevin doesn’t want to, but he still asks, “Jimmy?”

Brady looks over his shoulder. “Putting the groceries away. Want me to get him?”

Kevin shakes his head. “It’s cool,” he says. If Jimmy wanted to come talk to him he’d already be here. 

Brady leaves Kevin alone after that to deal with the rest of his packing. Kevin manages to get almost everything he needs to fit into his three suitcases and then he calls the Rangers’ equipment manager about his equipment. 

Once that’s over with he goes through his texts, finally. There is a lot of them, more than Kevin can count. He responds to his teammates, calls his agent about setting up an interview with the Winnipeg media. 

He’s just gotten off the phone when his phone buzzes again, an unknown number.

_ welcome to the team _   
_ this is blake wheeler btw _ . 

Kevin saves the number on his phone and texts back,  _ thanks man looking forward to playing with u guys _ .

_ same goes :) _ _  
_ _ let me know if u need anything :) _

Kevin chuckles a little at the smiley faces but thanks him again before going back to find Rick's contact. He and Rick are still pretty close, and Kevin has never played for a team that wasn’t the Rangers before, hasn’t been the new guy in the locker room in a while. Rick has though, and he gives Kevin some advice that mostly boils down to “don’t be a dick”, which Kevin thinks he can handle well enough.

After that Kevin gets on the phone for the interview with the media, answers all their questions and tells them he’s excited to play for the Jets. Halfway through the phone call there’s a knock on Kevin’s door, Jimmy this time, and that throws Kevin off a bit but Jimmy seems fine to wait on Kevin’s bed as Kevin finishes up.

Kevin looks at him sitting there and tries not to let his mind drift. He talks instead about how good it will feel to play in the playoffs and doesn’t miss Jimmy’s wince. 

“You’re all set?” Jimmy asks, once Kevin’s hanged up. 

Kevin blows out a breath. “Yeah,” he says. He starts packing his carry on so he doesn’t have to be faced with the choice of joining Jimmy on the bed. “It’s been kind of crazy.”

Jimmy nods. “Yeah, I can tell,” he says, giving Kevin’s mess of a room a look. 

Kevin shrugs. “I’m almost done,” he says. 

“Brady’s driving you to the airport?” Jimmy hands Kevin his headphones to pack, and their fingers touch. Kevin tries really hard not to think about. 

“Yeah,” he says instead. Looks at his watch. “We should actually get going soon.”

Jimmy nods again. He keeps looking around, trying to find something to focus on. He looks nervous. 

Normally, Kevin would wait him out, but whatever was going on between them ended three months ago so Kevin doesn’t think he needs to do that. “So, yeah,” he says, and tries not to sound bitter. 

Jimmy breathes out, stands up from Kevin’s bed. “Listen,” he says. He won’t look at Kevin. “I’m sorry… I’m sorry it didn’t work out,” he gets out, finally meets Kevin’s eyes. 

The words feel like a punch to the gut. They make Kevin want to puke. “Yeah. Me too,” he says, instead of what he really wants to say which is, _ you should have tried harder _ , because that what it had felt like: Kevin trying all the time and Jimmy taking it for what it was.

It’s too late for all of that now, and Kevin’s gonna miss his flight if he doesn’t get off his ass and to the airport, which proves to be a good enough excuse to get Jimmy out of his room. Even after Jimmy’s gone, Kevin is stuck staring at where he sat, and that feels pretty hurtful too, much like Jimmy’s words had.

Yeah, change will be good, Kevin thinks.

+

Brady is all stoic until they make it to check in and he caves and drags Kevin into a hug. It’s a decent one too, has Kevin thinking, not for the first time, that he is going miss Brady. 

“Alright, get out of here,” Kevin mutters into Brady’s shoulder after a few seconds. He doesn’t like how mushy this is starting to get but Brady doesn’t let go for a while, not until an announcement startles him. 

“Have a safe flight, Haysie,” he says, stepping back. 

“Thanks,” Kevin says, and means it in a ton of ways. Thanks for being my friend, thanks for helping me and Jimmy get our shit together; thanks for getting me drunk when it didn’t work out. 

Brady looks at him like he gets it too, so Kevin gets to head to the boarding gate feeling just a little lighter. He’s waiting for his flight to board when he gets another text from Wheeler.

_ pick u up tomorrow for practice? _

_ yeah thatd be great!  _ Kevin sends back, because he doesn’t want to navigate a whole new locker room and the coaching staff by himself.

Wheeler sends back a smiley face. 

Kevin’s plane hasn’t boarded yet, so he logs onto the jets website and checks out their roster. He tries to learn they guys’ names so he’ll be prepared and almost misses the announcement that his flight is going to be delayed. 

It shouldn’t be a big deal except for how Kevin has a connecting flight after this to Winnipeg which he ends up missing. He takes the next one but he doesn’t make it to Winnipeg until 3 in the morning. And to make matters worse, his bag with all of his suits that he took the time to fold ends up getting lost somewhere on the way to Manitoba. 

It is, all in all, not great stuff, and Kevin can hardly convince himself to deal with a shower before heading to bed. In the end he manages, but it’s a tough call, only made because he hates airplane stench.

Wheeler calls him the next morning at 9 o’clock on the dot to tell him he’s in the hotel lobby. Kevin’s been awake for a while because he wanted to be ready on time but he didn’t sleep until 4am last night so he looks pretty rough. 

This is why, he suspects, the first thing Wheeler does him when he sees him is ask him if he wants coffee. 

Kevin laughs. “That bad?” he asks. He goes to offer Wheeler his hand for a handshake but Wheeler grabs it and turns into a half-hug instead, practically mashing Kevin against him, which really isn’t easy since Kevin is not a small guy. 

“What time did you get in last night?” Wheeler asks him, starting to head for the parking lot. 

“3 am,” Kevin says, and goes to explain about the flight delays and the bag mixup. 

“Ouch,” Wheeler frowns. “I can give you my tailor’s number, but I doubt he’s going to have it ready for you by tonight,” he says. 

“Nah, it’s cool.” Kevin shakes his head. “I’ll just get one off the rack and get one tailored when I have time.” He doesn’t specify when that would be exactly, but hopefully before his second game. 

Wheeler holds the door open for Kevin, and Kevin gets suddenly slapped in the face with a rush of cold air. It’s piercing enough that he takes a step back, almost walking into Wheeler. 

Wheeler laughs, reaching out to steady him. “You’ll get used to it,” he says, pushing his gloved hands in his pockets. 

“Doubt that,” Kevin mutters. He can see his own breath in the air, and he pulls on his gloves. It was cold last night too, but Kevin was too tired to notice, and it feels even worse now when he he’s barely awake.

Kevin is shivering by the time they make it to Wheeler’s car, so he’s grateful when Wheeler cranks the heat what feels all the way up. Kevin takes off his gloves and puts his hands in front of the AC, trying to warm up. 

“My first year here,” Wheeler starts as he pulls out of the parking lot. “I didn’t even have thermals. And that was brutal,” he says. “So make sure to get thermals.” He sounds very serious, even going as far as to look Kevin sternly in the eye. 

Kevin laughs, then nods after a second when Wheeler keeps looking at him sternly. “I will,” he says, serious enough to match the look Wheeler’s giving him. 

They talk about the team on the way to the rink, and Wheeler tells him everybody’s excited to have him here. Kevin isn't sure if that’s what Wheeler says to everyone who gets traded here, but he appreciates the sentiment nonetheless.

Wheeler sticks close to Kevin at the rink, makes sure to introduce him to the coaches and then take him to players’ lounge. Kevin recognizes Scheifele sitting on the breakfast counter, but Wheeler has to introduce him to Lowry and Tanev who waste no time offering Kevin homemade oat muffins. 

“We made them,” Lowry says proudly, giving Kevin a look that more or less guilts him into grabbing one.

“That’s neat,” he says, and then, “Wow, these are really good,” with his mouth half full once he’s taken a bite. 

“Thanks, man,” Lowry says, to which Taven adds, “Lowsy got this really awesome new mixer and we’ve been trying it non stop.”

Scheifele squeezes between them and shakes Kevin’s hand, the one that’s not holding the muffin. “Welcome to the team,” he says, and after that it’s pretty much introductions non stop until practice. Kevin recognizes some of the guys from his snooping around on the website yesterday, so he thinks he’s got everyone’s name down. 

Practice is a bit different from the Rangers, but he expected that anyway so it doesn’t come as a big shock. He’s beat by the time they’re finished, but they have a game tonight and he really needs to get around to buying a suit. He’s googling about where to find one when Wheeler calls his name, asks him if he wants a ride back.

“Gotta go buy a suit, man,” Kevin tells him, which is how he ends up going suit shopping with Wheeler and Scheifele, who seem content to bicker about which cut is going to fit Kevin best while the saleswoman actually helps Kevin with what to wear. 

Scheifele insists Kevin show them his picks too, which prompts Wheeler to mutter something about Scheifele wanting to get an eyeful. 

Kevin outright laughs at that, says, “Hey, can you blame him?” and feels the ice break, a little. 

+

Kevin’s first game is a loss to Minnesota. It sucks. Kevin only plays sixteen minutes but he has to do postgame after, keeps going on about how he’s excited to play in Winnipeg and how there is going to be an adjustment period. 

Once the media has cleared out of the locker room, Wheeler announces they’re going out. “Need to show Haysie how we party in Winnipeg,” he says, which prompts nearly everyone to groan and call out things along the lines of, “Sit down, old man,” and, “What do you know about partying?”

A bunch of the guys still come out to the bar despite the heckling and the loss. They buy Kevin shots until he’s drunk and laughing at Laine’s burns  —  which, to be fair, are pretty savage  —  and then try to convince him to drink more. 

“Leave him alone,” Wheeler cuts in at some point, after Kevin has refused the third shot from Ehlers. “He doesn’t need to be hangover tomorrow.”

“Okay,  _ dad _ ,” Ehlers concedes, which has Kevin’s eyes widening and not in a discreet way. 

Wheeler huffs but explains to Kevin, “It’s because they think I baby them.”

Kevin chuckles, and it comes out a little giggly. He blames it on the shots. “I can see that,” he says, because he remembers they brief conversation he and Wheeler had about thermals in Wheeler’s car. He thinks the nickname kind of makes sense, with that in mind. 

“Should I call you that too?” Kevin asks, mostly because he’s well on his way to being drunk and wants to see Wheeler’s reaction. 

Wheeler predictably groans and tells Kevin he’s done saving him from alcohol poisoning. Kevin laughs until his face feels warm. 

It’s a pretty good night, all in all.

+

Kevin scores his first goal on his second game, and everything starts feeling a little bit easier after that. It’s a win, too, though they don’t go out after since they are leaving for a road trip tomorrow. 

Kevin is still pretty stoked. He gets a bit mixed up in his postgame, calls the team a “they” instead of “we” but catches himself almost right away with a laugh. 

Wheeler is waiting for him after Kevin is finished getting dressed, offers him a ride back to the hotel. Kevin is too tired and too happy to argue, a pleasant combo that he’d missed, so he takes him up on it.

“You did good tonight,” Wheeler tells him in the car. 

“Just an empty netter.” Kevin shrugs, but he’s smiling, feeling good about the game. 

“No, I mean the whole thing,” Wheeler tells him. “You played well.”

Kevin knows what kind of player he is, and he knows what kind of player Wheeler is. He flushes. “Same goes.”

+

Kevin wakes up to a text from Jimmy, of all people. He rubs a hand over his eyes and checks his phone again to make sure he read the notification right, but Jimmy’s name is still there, followed by the hearts Kevin had added to his contact and never got it together enough to delete.

_ nice win _ , it reads. It was sent one hour ago, right when Jimmy must have woken up, Kevin thinks. 

Kevin reads it and answers right away, mostly because he never could manage to leave Jimmy waiting and still can’t, as it turns out. 

_ u watched? _

He tries not to imagine Jimmy staying up late to watch his game, which turns out to be good thing because Jimmy just says, _ highlights this morning _ .

Kevin huffs. He doesn’t know why he does this to himself. Jimmy never really got what Kevin felt for him — still feels, maybe. Jimmy didn’t get it when Kevin was convincing him to sign with the Rangers, and he didn’t get it when Kevin was bitterly disapproving his hookups, and he didn’t get it when Kevin kissed him either. 

When they started hooking up, and when Kevin broke it off, Jimmy still didn’t get it. And it wasn't his fault, honestly. He can be kind of dense when he’s not motivated, and Kevin never told him, anway. 

There’s really no use in thinking about all of that, though. At least not now, when Kevin is in Winnipeg and Jimmy is in New York and the two of them — well, there is no  _ two of them _ anymore.

Kevin knows all that, but he’s still in a bit of a mood when Wheeler comes to pick him up a little later. Kevin thinks Wheeler can tell, too, not because of anything he says but because of how he keeps talking, filling up the silence. 

Kevin feels kind of bad about it after a few minutes, so he tries to shake himself out of it, and by the time they make it to the airport he’s even started to feel mildly less depressed about his and Jimmy’s relationship and all the things that it could have been. 

He still turns down Wheeler’s offer to sit together just because he feels like he’s monopolized his attention enough and Scheifele probably needs his friend back. 

Wheeler laughs when Kevin tells him the last part, this loud thing that has the guys that are already on the plane turning to look at them. “Scheifs can share,” he says, once he’s calmed down. 

“Really, it’s cool,” Kevin insists. “Don't worry about it.” It’ll probably be better for Kevin if he spends some time alone with his sad playlist or something. 

Wheeler seems to accept that, but Kevin doesn’t get to wallow. Connor comes to sit in front of him and Ehlers takes the seat across the aisle from Kevin. They cite “liney chem” as their reason when they see Kevin look surprised by this turn of events, but waste not time before setting up a card game. 

Laine comes to join them, a couple of rounds into it, and Kevin quickly learns that for all his savagery Laine can hardly keep a straight face with a full house to save his life. He gets kind of grumbly, too, when he loses, and then announces he’s done playing this no stakes game. 

“Oh, you want stakes?” Connor raises his eyebrows. 

“It’s easy to lose with no money,” Laine explains. 

Connor rolls his eyes. He gets up and disappears down the aisle, comes back with four boxes of mini crackers. As it turns out, Laine is pretty bad even with stakes involved. He loses half his crackers in the first two rounds, and then he tries to lessen the difference between him and Ehlers by snatching two of his crackers and shoving them in his mouth. 

Kevin bursts out laughing watching the whole thing unfold, which directs Ehlers’ attention to Laine and how he’s chewing on Ehlers’ crackers. 

“Hey!” Ehlers says, loud. “No cheating.” He starts jabbing at Laine’s sides to get him to spit them out but Laine opens his mouth really wide and sticks out his tongue, proving he’s already swallowed the crackers. 

“Ew, you’re disgusting,” Ehlers tells him, making a face. 

Laine then turns to Kevin, looks him dead in the eye and calls him a traitor. 

Kevin laughs; he’s pretty sure there’s no heat behind it.

+

They have Kevin room with Wheeler, which is surprising since Kevin hasn’t had a road roommate in a while but ultimately not a big deal. Kevin likes Wheeler — he seems like a good guy and he’s gone out of his way to make Kevin feel he’s part of the team.

And Wheeler’s quiet, Kevin comes to find out. He reads a lot, in their room, which reminds Kevin of Jimmy in a way he’d rather not think about too hard. He’s not messy at all, which also reminds Kevin of Jimmy because Jimmy was too messy for his own good, but makes Kevin more conscious of where he leaves his shoes too.

It’s good, all in all, so Kevin doesn’t think too hard about it.

+

Kevin takes a look at himself in the hotel mirror before the game and makes a face. His suit is not fitted — which he swears he’ll get to — but more than that his beard is mess, his hair fluffy and sticking out all over the place. It’s not a cute look. 

Still, Kevin has to wait until they’re in Tampa before he can do anything about it. He leaves the hotel room after practice and walks around until he finds a decent enough place to have a haircut. He asks for a shave, too, and by the he’s back in the hotel he feels mildly more human. 

Wheeler is nowhere to be seen when Kevin gets back, but Kevin can hear the shower running. He sits back on his bed and gets on his phone to read the messages from the Jets groupchat that he was added to a few days ago. 

The first handful of messages are Scheifele sending highlights from the Lightning’s last game, which Kevin has come to find out is normal enough. Some of the guys get on him about the videos and tell him to get a life, and then Laine sends, 😱😱😱😱 _. _

Kevin is still reading through them so he doesn’t hear it when the shower shuts off but looks up when the bathroom door opens. Wheeler has a towel wrapped around his waist, but his chest is a little wet, his hair dripping onto his shoulders.

“Hey, you shaved!” he tells Kevin, and he frankly sounds way too excited. 

Kevin laughs. His mouth feels a little dry. “Was it really that bad?” he asks. 

Wheeler chuckles. “Nah,” he says, grabbing another towel to dry his hair with. “But you look good now,” he continues, and he’s not even looking at Kevin. 

Wheeler’s back is turned to him, and Kevin almost blurts out, “you too.” He keeps his mouth shut, somehow, but he can feel his cheeks heat. “Thanks,” he manages to get out, like a loser.

Wheeler either doesn’t notice or doesn’t comment on Kevin’s awkwardness. Kevin is glad. He turns back to his phone and sees a new message from Ehlers, something about playstation at his and Laine’s room, and Kevin thinks that’s a lifesaver if he’s ever seen one. 

He tells Wheeler he’s gonna head to their room, because, “Team bonding.”

Wheeler seems really happy with that. “That’s great,” he tells Kevin, then grows abruptly serious. “They just get really competitive? One time last season they broke a TV if you can believe it, so don’t worry if they start screaming at each other,” he says.

Kevin would laugh if he wasn't so busy trying really hard not to look away from Wheeler’s face. As it is, he says, “Yeah, I’ll keep it mind,” and, “Thanks,” in this really awkward voice. 

Wheeler is giving him a strange look do Kevin clears his throat and points to the door, then gets out. He leans against it for a moment after, trying to get his face to return to its normal color. 

The thing is, Kevin used to be really fucking good at compartmentalizing. He had to be because he was gay and that didn’t really mix well with hockey. Then Jimmy came around and blew all that out of the water.

+

They lose to Tampa and don’t go out after. Wheeler goes to Scheifele’s room after the game  — probably to go over their mistakes, or something, seeing as hockey is the only thing Scheifele is ever talking about.

Okay, that’s a little mean of Kevin to think. It’s not as if he’s jealous that Wheeler is spending time with Scheifele. If anything, he’s relieved; the less time he and Wheeler spend together, the fewer the chances of Kevin saying something stupid to him.

So, Kevin should be glad. He still stays up longer than he should, and he’s tired; he doesn’t want to think about why texting Jimmy would be a bad idea, so he just does it. It’s nothing incriminating, a simple,  _ what’s up _ , which is maybe worse than the  _ hey I’m still in love with you _ that is really on Kevin’s mind.

Jimmy doesn’t text back. Kevin knows the Rangers are in Dallas because he still has the habit of checking up on them, and he waits up for a while, long enough for Wheeler to get back. 

Wheeler looks more relaxed now, his shoulders less tense and his face not quite as tight as after the game. He nods towards Kevin and asks him what he’s up to. 

Kevin looks at his text conversation with Jimmy, at how his message has been delivered but not read. He sets his phone aside. “Nothing,” he says. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah,” Wheeler says easily. “Scheifs wanted to go over some clips from the game.”

Kevin tries not to feel satisfied by how spot on he was.

“Wanna watch a movie or something?” Wheeler offers. He’s shrugging off his suit jacket, taking off his tie. 

Kevin looks away. “I was just gonna go to bed, but if you want to watch something go ahead,” he says. He tries not to sound awkward about it, probably misses by a mile. 

“Oh.” Wheeler sounds surprised. “It’s cool. I should probably get some rest too.”

“Yeah,” Kevin mumbles. 

Wheeler stands there for a moment and then heads into the bathroom. Kevin breathes out. He reaches for his phone; Jimmy still hasn’t read his message.

+

They win in Carolina, 8-1 which is pretty awesome. Kevin gets a goal and racks up an assist, too, so he’s feeling pretty good about himself. In the locker room Coach tells them to have fun with it but not too much fun, which Kevin thinks means they have permission to go out.

They head to a bar not too far from the rink, and Kevin ends up squished in the booth between Byfuglien and Scheifele. Wheeler is a few guys away from them but Kevin can still make him out talking to Lowry, his arm thrown over Lowry’s shoulders as he talks in his ear. 

Kevin looks away right on time to catch Scheifele watching him. He flushes, looking down down at the table like he's just been caught because well — he has. Scheifele, mercifully, says nothing. 

Connor brings over a round of shots a little while later, and Kevin doesn’t know why this team always starts with shots but he’s going with it. He’s downed his second one when Scheifele turns to ask him, “How're you finding Winnipeg?”

“We’re not in Winnipeg,” Kevin says a little dumbly. His phone buzzes in his pocket then and he apologizes to Scheifele before checking it because Scheifele looks like the kind of guy who’d appreciate that.

He does, even going as far to pour Kevin some beer from the pitcher Byfuglien bullied Connor into getting them. Kevin goes to say thanks but it comes out all croaky because it’s a text from Jimmy and Kevin hadn’t seen that coming. 

He thinks about waiting to open it — he’s out with his team which doesn’t quite feel like his team, and Kevin thinks that’s not going to change if he doesn’t try. And Jimmy left him waiting for three days, practically. 

Kevin opens the message. He’s not sure what he expected, but a history meme really wasn’t it. It’s something about Caesar and Cicero, who Kevin vaguely remembers from his Roman History class back in college, pasted onto a It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia screencap, and Kevin doesn’t really get it.

Back when they were together (and a bit after they broke up), Kevin would try and google it or something. Jimmy didn't even read Kevin’s message until today, though, and it might be out of spite but Kevin doesn’t really want to google memes right now. He locks his phone and sets it face down on the table.

“Sorry,” he says again to Scheifele, and, “What were we talking about?”

Scheifele seems amused if anything. “Girlfriend?” he asks, nodding to Kevin’s phone. 

Kevin tries not to look taken aback by Scheifele’s question. “Ex,” he says noncommittally because Scheifele seems like a nice guy but Kevin’s first impressions have been wrong before.

“Ouch,” Scheifele says. “You guys still talk?”

Kevin takes a sip from his beer. “I mean,” he starts, “We were friends before we got together, so it kind of makes sense.” It sure doesn’t make Kevin feel great about himself, but it makes sense, at least.

Scheifele gives Kevin a sympathetic look that has Kevin wanting to look away so he does. His eyes find Wheeler because of course they do, standing by the bar and talking to a guy Kevin doesn’t recognize. 

At first Kevin thinks the guy’s a fan but he and Wheeler are standing very close together, and the guy is throwing his head back and laughing at something Wheeler says. Wheeler is smiling, Kevin can see, and leaning into the guy. 

Kevin isn’t sure what’s happening right now, but he can unmistakably feel half the table watching his closely. He glances around the guys to confirm it, and sure enough everybody’s gone really quiet, their eyes set on Kevin. 

Kevin, in that moment, paints a very clear picture of what’s happening. “Oh,” he says because this just dawned on him.

He looks back at Wheeler and the guy’s hand is on his arm now. 

“Oh,” Kevin says again, and it sounds even more stupid than the first time. He can feel himself blush and he looks down, takes a long sip of his beer. 

When he looks back up, Scheifele and the rest of the guys are still watching him. Kevin gets it then, that maybe they think he’s going to be an asshole about this. He kind of wants to laugh at the thought because that sure is far from the truth.

Instead he says, “Didn’t know Wheels was into blondes,” which is fairly lame but ultimately better than nothing.

There is a torturous moment and then Scheifele breaks out laughing, the rest of the guys following suit. Byfuglien thumps Kevin on the back and Scheifele pours him another beer. Kevin looks at these guys and feels a sense of relief, like maybe they’d have his back if he decided to walk up to a tall blonde dude and try his luck too.

Kevin won’t, but it’s a thought.

+

By the time they’re back in Winnipeg, Wheeler is Wheels. Scheifele is Scheifs; Connor KC. Elers is Nik and Laine Patty and the two of them together a hypercompetitive mess but fun to watch. 

Kevin is starting to get more comfortable around the team, growing more vocal on the bench and talking a bit in the locker room. It’s easier like this, when Kevin is not quite so high stunge, and he thinks it shows too. 

Wheels gives him approving looks during games and he does the thing where he throws his arm over Kevin’s shoulders and whisper-yells in his ear about a good shift, and Kevin shivers and smiles dumbly, tells him, “Thanks, man.”

Things are going well, and when Scheifs invites him over to watch a hockey game with some of the guys at his house, Kevin thinks he’s done something right. 

“Is there anything I should bring?” he asks.

Scheifs shrugs. “Nah, it’s cool,” he says. “Wheels and I are cooking so just an empty stomach.”

Kevin chuckles and tells him, “Sure thing.”

Still, Scheifs has been more friendly since that night in Carolina, even going as far as to drive Kevin to practice a couple of times because Kevin’s car still hasn’t gotten to Winnipeg, and Kevin wants to make a good impression so he decides to bring some wine. He can’t decide between red and white so he gets both, and hands them to Scheifs with an awkward smile.

“Oh, these are good, Haysie,” Scheifs says, taking them to the kitchen. 

Kevin shrugs. He doesn’t know jack shit about wine, these two just looked expensive enough. 

Kevin follows Scheifs to the kitchen where Wheels is leaning against the counter, sipping on a glass of wine. He’s wearing a kiss the chef apron and smiles at Kevin once he sees him. It’s a pretty good combo, has Kevin holding his hand out for an awkward fistbump.

“You find the place alright?” Scheifs asks him, which prompts a whole discussion about Kevin almost slipping on the sidewalk outside of Scheif’s apartment complex and how the ice hasn’t melted yet.

Lows and Rusty and their baked goods join them halfway through it and after a few minutes KC too. They all gang up against Wheels for his apron but he takes it in stride, smiling and shaking his head. 

“You’re just jealous because you can’t pull off the look,” Kevin blurts out, and regrets it immediately because he’s worried it might have given too much away.

Wheels just laughs though, this bright thing either directed at Kevin’s half assed insult or KC’s squawk, Kevin isn’t sure. He doesn’t want to be sure either because he can feel Scheif’s eyes on him and they’ve just started to get along more, Kevin doesn’t want to fuck it up.

They watch the game in Scheif’s dining room, which Kevin suspects has a TV for this exact purpose. Scheifs gets really excited, keeps asking, “Did you see that? Did you see that play?” while his eyes track the puck, so Kevin kind of gets really into it.

He jumps when his phone goes off, and he isn’t even planning on picking up except it’s Jimmy calling him. Kevin feels his mouth go a little dry, struggles with himself about picking up and then stands up and goes to the kitchen to do so because he’s never had that much willpower when it came to Jimmy.

Jimmy sounds happy, is Kevin’s first thought. He says, “Hey, Kev,” and he sounds like he's smiling and Kevin’s heart misses like three beats, he swears. 

“Hey, Jimmy,” Kevin still manages, though it’s tough. “What’s up?”

Jimmy sighs on the end of the line. “Just wanted to check in, see how you’re doing,” he says.

“Oh,” Kevin says. He doesn’t know what to do with that. “I’m… I’m okay.” he pauses, then adds, “We’re at, ah, Scheifs’ right now, watching a game.”

“That’s great,” Jimmy says. “You liking the team?”

Kevin breathes out. He doesn’t know what Jimmy  _ wants _ . “Yeah, I — the guys are great,” he says, stops again. Leans against the counter and closes his eyes for a moment. “Listen, Jimmy, I —” he manages, then Jimmy cuts him off.

“I’m seeing someone,” he says.

Kevin doesn’t even register the words at first, and when he does they make his stomach go all tight. “Oh,” he get out. 

“Yeah, I —  Brady told me I should call you, let you know,” Jimmy explains. “He said it’d be shitty if you heard about it from someone else.”

Kevin is listening to what Jimmy’s saying, and he thinks he should answer in some shape or form, only nothing is coming out. 

“Kevin?” Jimmy asks after a few seconds. “You still there?”

“Yeah.” Kevin swallows. “That’s — good for you,” he says, because that’s what people say in cases like these, right? Kevin thinks that’s normal, and he wants to say more, more like, “I’m happy for you,” but the words get stuck in his throat because he’s not.

“Yeah, so, uhm,” Jimmy struggles, and Kevin gets a misplaced sense of satisfaction from it. He says nothing, not until Jimmy says, “Yeah, that’s it.”

“Cool.” Kevin nods, even though even though Jimmy’s not here to see it. “I — I gotta go now, so,” he doesn’t say “we’ll talk,” because he doesn’t feel like talking to Jimmy now.

“Oh, sure!” Jimmy says, awkward. He breathes into the phone for a moment, and then hangs up.

Kevin stands there for what feels like forever. He doesn’t even bother taking the phone away from his ear, not until he hears someone walk into the kitchen.

It’s Scheifs. “Ex?” he asks, casual, hardly looking at Kevin. 

“Yeah,” Kevin says. He looks at Scheifs and the words just spill out of him. “He’s seeing someone.”

Scheifs, to his credit, doesn’t make it weird. “How long were you guys together for?”

Kevin blows out a breath. “Almost two years,” he says, and the admission feels like a punch to the gut. “Broke up three months ago.”

Scheifs makes a sympathetic noise. “That’s rough, man.”

Kevin feels his shoulders drop. It feels good to have someone take his side, someone who isn’t Brady, anyway. 

“You still have feelings for him?” Scheifs asks.

“No,” Kevin says, because that’s his first instinct. Then he breathes out. “I don’t know.”

“And him?”

“I don’t —” Kevin cuts himself off. It’s difficult to get the words out, mostly because of how truthful they are. “I don’t think he ever felt the same way,” he says, because Jimmy liked him, of course he did, and maybe he even loved Kevin, but their feelings for each other never really aligned. 

“Mhm,” Scheifs says. “That’s even rougher.”

His words surprise Kevin into chuckling. “Tell me about it.”

He and Scheifs exchange a look, and then Scheifs is dragging him back to the dining room because, “The game’s still on and Lows and Rusty will be hurt if you don’t eat some of their muffins.”

Kevin laughs, a small thing, and lets himself be dragged. 

+

They go on another roadtrip, LA then Anaheim then Vegas. Kevin sits across from Nik and behind Laine on the plane and the three of them play cards again. Lows joins them at some point, Rusty tugging along, so the game gets pretty heated fairly soon, until the the rest of the guys are groaning about needing their beauty sleep.

Kevin got some sleep on the plane after the card game, but he’s pretty beat when they get to the hotel. He turns down Wheels’ offer for a movie and heads to bed instead. It happens again in Anaheim, and Kevin doesn’t really think much of it until Vegas, where Wheels asks him if he’d rather room alone. 

Kevin’s eyes widen and he looks up from his suitcase. Wheels is leaning against the wall, but he looks tense, arms crossed over his chest and lips pressed into a thin line. “Uhm,” Kevin says, for lack of anything better. 

“Because you’ve been acting weird,” Wheels goes on. “And I don’t know what it’s about, if it’s — if it’s the me being into dudes thing or whatever, but —”

“What the hell,  _ no _ ,” Kevin cuts him off. His voice comes louder than he’d meant, but Wheels still looks mildly unconvinced. Kevin thinks about how hard Wheels has tried to make him feel welcome in Winnipeg and how many times Kevin has turned him down, and decides he has no right to blame him. 

Kevin lets out a breath. For once, he forces mouth to catch up to his mind and says, “I — me too.”

Wheels looks at him like he has no clue what Kevin is talking about, which Kevin supposes answers his question of whether or not Scheifs told him. “You too what?”

“I’m gay, too, so,” Kevin tells him. He chuckles right after, mostly relief.

“Oh,” Wheels says. 

“Yeah.” Kevin nods. He finally fishes out the shirt he was looking for in his suitcase and breaks out the iron. “And I’m sorry I was weird,” he adds. “It’s just — with me being new on the team and everything… it’s an adjustment,” he says, which is true but also not. “I’ll work on it.”

“Oh,” Wheels says again. 

Kevin laughs, running the iron over his button down. “You’re gonna say anything else?”

“Yes,” Wheels says. “I mean, I just didn’t see that coming.”

“Out,” Kevin adds.

Wheels stares at him for a moment and then they both burst out laughing. Kevin’s never come out to his gay captain before, but he thinks that went pretty well.

+

They lose to Vegas, and Kevin is on the ice for three of the goals against. It sucks, to put it mildly. 

On the team plane, Kevin sits by himself, not that anyone seems too eager on small talk. He opens Spotify on his phone and puts on his sad playlist, the one he made before he and Jimmy broke up, when he knew for sure it was coming. 

He’s a few songs into it when Wheels comes to join him, wordlessly gesturing for Kevin to move his knees so he can squeeze through to get to the window seat. Wheels is carrying his iPad, and Kevin takes his headphones off and looks at him, tries not to breathe too deeply because this close he can smell Wheels and he smells — good. 

“What are you listening to?” Wheels asks him. He keeps his voice low because most of the guys are sleeping so Kevin does the same. 

“Nothing,” he says. Then, because Wheels is giving him this look, “My sad playlist.”

Wheels makes a face. “It wasn’t —” Kevin gives him a look that makes him rephrase. “Okay, so maybe it wasn't the best game, but it’s only one bad game.”

Kevin’s had this talk before, Ryan and Step on the Rangers, so he nods his way through it. Wheels doesn’t buy it. He sighs after a moment and turns on his iPad, asks Kevin if he wants to go over the game.

Kevin nods, and the two of them go through all three goals but a couple of good plays that Kevin’s line had too. Kevin is feeling better by the end of it, and Wheels’ — Blake, he puts his arm around Kevin’s shoulders, his hand squeezing Kevin’s neck. “You’re good,” he tells Kevin.

Kevin — he flushes deeply and looks away, a smile tugging at his lips.

+

They score five against Nashville at home. KC gets a hattrick and Kevin gets a goal and a four point night. He feels good after, good enough to go around the room hugging guys and later buying rounds at the bar.

Kevin doesn’t drink much himself, sticks to a couple of beers and a single shot of vodka. It turns out to be for the best too because Scheifs gets pretty drunk, drags Blake along with him, and Kevin offers to drive them both home since his car finally got here from New York.

Blake gets pretty handsy on the way to the car, one arm thrown over Scheifs’ shoulder and the other over Kevin’s. He keeps laughing excitedly in Kevin’s ear and Kevin doesn’t really have the willpower to shorten his breaths anymore, just breathes and takes him in. 

They drop Scheifs off first because he claims his house is closer and then Kevin drives to Blake’s. 

“You wanna come up?” Blake asks him. He’s smiling at Kevin and that’s pretty intoxicating, has Kevin’s breath cutting off for a short moment. “I have kale chips,” Blake goes on, when Kevin doesn’t say anything. He waggles his eyebrows too, then bursts out laughing. 

“Sounds cool,” Kevin says, because he can’t come up with anything else, not when Blake is looking at him like that. 

It turns out, kale chips are pretty good. Blake puts on a movie on Netflix and brings Kevin a beer and some water for himself, and they settle in with the bag of kale chips between them. 

Kevin is aware, too aware, maybe, of Blake next to him, and Blakes’ shampoo and his body spray and how warm he is. It’s hard not to lean into it, and then Blake rests his arm along the back of the couch and Kevin stops trying. 

He lets his head fall back to rest on Blake’s arm, and then Blake’s fingers are on Kevin’s shoulder, jabbing but, like, in a nice way. Massaging, Kevin thinks is the right word. 

Kevin’s heart is beating really fast in his chest, and his face feels warm. He turns his face into Blake’s neck without really thinking about it and breathes out when he feels Blake’s fingers brush through his hair. 

Neither of them says anything. Kevin gets the unmistakable impression they’re heading towards something here. It makes his heart speed up even more, the realization, and he takes in a deep breath, all Blake. 

Kevin is almost dizzy when Blake pulls his head back, gentle, and then he can’t look away from Blake’s eyes. It’s cheesy, Kevin knows, and his chest feels all light and funny. Blake is watching him, careful, and then he starts to lean in, and Kevin actually stops breathing. 

Then their lips touch and Kevin’s lungs feel functional again. Blake’s lips are soft against his, a little chapped but they taste like vanilla. Kevin thinks that might be Blake’s chapstick.

It’s a good kiss — really good if the way Kevin’s heart is all fluttery is anything to go by — until Kevin remembers the last he person he kissed was Jimmy. It’s a sobering thought, has Kevin pulling back, his hand on Blake’s chest.

Blake’s eyes are hazy, jumping between Kevin’s lips and his eyes, and then he seems to register Kevin’s hand on him, how it’s holding him at a distance, and he gets really, really red. He looks away and shifts to the other end of the couch. 

“Oh, fuck,” he says. His eyes are wide, now. “I can’t believe I just did that.”

Kevin looks at him and feels bad for making him feel embarrassed. “Chill,” he tells Blake. “You had a lot to drink.”

Blake huffs. “Not that much,” he says, rubbing a hand over his face. 

Kevin feels awkward. He has a feeling it won’t be going away any time soon. He searches for something to say but Blake beats him to it. 

“I — fuck, I’m really sorry,” he says. “For putting you in that position.” He meets Kevin’s eyes and there is regret there, real enough to have Kevin feeling like he’s been punched in the gut. 

“And for assuming,” Blake says. “That was really uncool of me.”

Kevin, more than anything, wants to tell him that he shouldn't be sorry because he didn’t assume anything. Kevin gave him all the right signals and didn’t even think to move away until his traitorous brain decided to remind him of Jimmy. 

Instead he says, “Don’t worry about it,” and, “I know I’m a catch,” in the hopes that it will break some of the tension between them. 

Blake laughs, but it’s forced, so Kevin’s plan pretty much fails. He sighs, gets up. “Listen,” he starts, but nothing else comes out. 

Blake isn’t even looking at him. “Let’s just,” he says. “Let’s never talk about it again.” He laughs again, kind of huffy; very awkward.

Kevin thought it wouldn't, but that stings. He opens his mouth to say something, but can’t come up with anything. Where would he even start. He could say that he likes Blake, too, but that comes with its fair share of baggage, and Kevin doesn’t want to put that on Blake. 

And Kevin doesn’t feel ready for this, whatever  _ this  _ is. He doesn’t want Blake to be his next Jimmy. 

So Kevin says, “You got it,” and shows himself out. 

Drives back to his hotel, lies on his bed and takes out his phone. Finds Jimmy’s contact, stares at it for the longest time before selecting the edit option. 

The hearts have been there ever since Jimmy and Kevin got together, but it only takes five taps from Kevin’s thumb to erase them. 

+

Playoffs are coming up and the Jets are in, so Kevin decides to finally,  _ finally  _ get some suits fitted. He’s planning to go by himself, but Nik asks him what he’s doing after practice and Scheifs overhears them and offers to tag along. 

He says it in a weird way, too, like there’s no room for argument. Kevin worries that Blake told him what happened and now Scheifs will have to murder him with a yard of fabric or something. It turns out he’s right too, more or less.

“So,” Scheifs starts, when Kevin’s standing half naked in front of the mirror, waiting for the tailor to bring him the textile samples. It’s a fairly non-threatening word but Kevin still tenses. “You and Blake,” he goes on, and Kevin thinks his caution was justified. 

“What about me and Blake?” he asks, trying for casual and missing by a few miles, probably. 

“What’s happening there?” Scheifs asks. He doesn’t actually sound curious to find out, just matter-of-fact. 

Kevin shrugs. “Nothing,” he says, and it comes out a bit defensive. 

“Hm,” Scheifs hums. 

Kevin sighs, long and drawn out. He turns around in the mirror until he can see Scheifs’ face reflected to his right. “Listen,” he says, “If you want to give me a shovel talk or whatever, you don’t have to.” 

Kevin gets to see Scheifs’ eyes widen a bit at that but he wastes no time before asking, “Why? Because you’re not gonna hurt him?”

Kevin thinks about how to answer that. His shoulders drop. “Because I stopped it before it got anywhere,” he admits. 

Scheifs looks downright confused by that. Kevin would laugh, under different circumstances. As it is he adds, “That’s why.”

“Well,” Scheifs says, “I had a whole speech planned and you kinda ruined it now.”

Kevin huffs. “Sorry, I guess,” he says. 

Scheifs is quiet for a moment, checking over his shoulder. Then he meets Kevin’s eyes in the mirror and asks, “Okay, but why?”

Kevin breathes out. He tries to pretend he’s too busy checking the fit of the suit jacket in the mirror when in reality he’s searching for an excuse. When he comes up short, he just goes with the truth. “I mean,” he starts, “My ex and I — I don’t want the same thing to happen with Blake.”

Kevin’s not looking at Scheifs but he’s looking at the mirror, so he gets to see Scheifs do a double take at that. “That… sounds like a lame excuse but okay.”

Kevin rolls his eyes. “What do you care. It’s my excuse.”

“Well, I just think,” Scheifs explains, “If someone’s turning down my best friend, they better have good reason to.”

“Oh my god,” Kevin mutters. He turns around now, turns to look at Scheifs. “It’s called baggage.”

Scheifs shrugs. “It sounds more like martyrdom but then again, who am I to say.” He actually shrugs too, pronounced like he thinks Kevin’s an idiot.

“You were about to give me the shovel talk like, three minutes ago,” Kevin points out. “And now you have a problem that I turned Blake down?”

Scheifs sighs. “I wasn’t gonna scare you off or anything like that,” he admits. “Just…” Scheifs trails off, looking away. 

Kevin waits him out because he has no pants now and thus the option of running away has been cruelly taken from him. 

“Blake is a really good guy, okay?” Scheifs finally says. “And he deserves someone good, you know?” He shrugs. “And you’re not half bad, so.”

Kevin wants to laugh at the last part but doesn't. Presses his lips together instead, trying to come up with something to say. He’s saved when Blake’s tailor comes back, tells Kevin to turn back around so they can continue. 

Kevin can feel Scheifs’ judgy eyes on him for the rest of the fitting.

+

Kevin goes home and can’t get Scheifs’ words out of his head. It’s tough because Kevin was okay with his decision, for a relative measure of  _ okay  _ anyway, and Scheifs had to come and mess with Kevin’s head. 

The thing is, Blake  _ is  _ a good guy. He has good jokes and hands out praise freely and throws his arm over Kevin’s shoulders and whisper-yells in his ear until Kevin is laughing. He’s considerate and took the time to help Kevin feel comfortable in Winnipeg, and just makes Kevin feel good. Happy in a way he hasn’t felt in a while. 

And Scheifs was right, Blake deserves a good guy. 

Kevin thinks about all of that for a while, and then picks up his phone and calls Brady. Brady sounds surprised that Kevin’s calling him — they usually stick to texting — and he asks Kevin is everything is alright. 

Kevin doesn’t want to get into the whole thing with Blake. Instead he asks, “Why didn’t it work out for me and Jimmy?”

He hears Brady breathe out on the other end of the line, and Kevin braces himself. He’s not sure if he wants to hear what Brady has to say but he thinks he needs to, in a way. 

“Haysie,” Brady starts and his voice sounds heavy. “I — Maybe you should ask Jimmy.”

“I’m asking you,” Kevin argues. He could ask Jimmy, he supposes, but Kevin — as stupid as it might sound — doesn’t want to give Jimmy that kind of power over him. Not again, at least.

There is a long moment, Kevin waiting Brady out, and then Brady says, “You were head over heels for him.” He pauses. “And he just — wasn’t there.”

Kevin wishes he could say that doesn’t hurt to hear. Even with the way Brady says it, soft and slow, like he’s worried about hurting Kevin, it cuts deep. Because Kevin was too in love with Jimmy for his own good and Jimmy — he didn’t feel the same. 

“Thank you,” Kevin gets out. 

“Dude,” brady says. “Are you okay? You’re kind of freaking me out.”

Kevin chuckles, more of a snort-laugh thing. “Yeah, man, I’m fine,” he says. “Just needed to hear that, I guess.”

Kevin goes on to ask Brady about how he’s been, and they get pretty into it, talking about things they haven’t really taken the time to text to each other. 

It’s gotten pretty late by the time they hang up, so Kevin heads for a shower and then to bed. He thought he wouldn't be able to sleep, not easily at least, but he gets under the covers in his hotel room in Winnipeg and feels — calm. 

Kevin still thinks about Brady and Scheifs and how Jimmy never really returned his feelings, but he thinks about Blake too, his easy laugh and his too earnest jokes and how he’d kissed Kevin. 

So, okay, maybe not fully calm, but at least halfway there.

+

They lose their next three at home. No one is happy about it but Blake especially. Kevin feels a little bad about the other day but more than that he doesn’t like seeing Blake high strung like this, so he suggests the two of them go apartment hunting the next day after practice. 

Blake looks surprised by this but he’s all about Kevin feeling at home in Winnipeg, Kevin knows, so eventually he shrugs and says, “Sure thing.”

Kevin had already contacted Scheifs’ realtor and she had set up four apartments for him to check out today. They’re all close to the arena and furnished because Kevin doesn’t really want to get into furniture shopping when he doesn’t even know how long he’s going to be here for. 

He and Blake meet up with Jenna at the first one, and it turns out it was a good call to have Blake with him because he knows all the right questions to ask. Kevin thinks that it’s a probably a new level of adulthood that he himself hasn’t quite hit yet. 

Blake is normal about everything, too. He doesn’t give Kevin lingering looks and he doesn’t mention anything out of the ordinary. It’s only reasonable that Kevin cracks first. 

They’re at the third apartment and Jenna has left them to have a look around by themselves when Kevin blurts out, “So, I did something stupid.”

That seems to drag Blake’s attention away from the granite countertops and back to Kevin. “Oh?”

“I — I’m into this guy,” he starts, and doesn’t miss Blake’s wince. “And he kissed me the other night but I pushed him away.”

Blake’s face does a few funny things then before he seems to catch on. He opens and closes his mouth a couple of times before finally asking, “If you are into him then why did you push him away?” 

“I guess I was scared?” Kevin shrugs. It’s difficult to get the words out and his ears feel warm. “I mean, I was with this guy back in New York, and I kind of got my heart broken?” Kevin doesn’t say Jimmy broke his heart because that wouldn't be fair; Kevin broke his own heart, honestly.

Blake nods. He taps his fingers on the dark countertop. “Your friend — I mean, I — I get that.”

Kevin lets out a breath but braces himself too because it doesn’t sound like Blake is done. 

“I kind of like you a lot, Kevin,” Blake admits. 

Kevin’s heart starts beating really quickly. 

“I just,” Blake goes on, “I don’t really want this to be like — a rebound thing.” He says the last part really slowly, like it's important to him that Kevin gets this. 

“Oh,” Kevin says. He takes a step back because he hadn’t really thought about it like that. “I mean —” He backtracks, or tries to anyway.

“I’m not saying no, or anything,” Blake cuts him off. “I just — I need you to be sure,” he says. 

Kevin swallows. He can see where Blake is coming from and he really likes him too. He doesn’t want to mess this up, and that’s what it really comes down to.

Maybe Blake can tell. He shrugs. “I’m not going anywhere,” he says, and it’s — he says it  _ easily _ , like he’s not actively putting himself in Kevin’s hands. “Take your time.”

Kevin doesn’t know what to do with that. His only other relationship was with Jimmy and Jimmy didn’t trust so easily. 

“Okay,” Kevin says, and starts to untangle his mess of feelings all over again. 

+

They win in Chicago and Kevin gets the OT winner. Blake is on the ice for it and he skates over to Kevin and hugs him, and Kevin’s heart is racing in his chest. He gets helmet taps and hugs and shoves and “Good fucking job, Haysie,” from a bunch of guys. 

In the locker room, Blake hugs him again, all smiles as he says, “That was a nice one, Haysie.”

Kevin stares at him a second too long and then his face breaks out into a smile. “Thanks,” he says, and decides he can probably blame his flush on the game. 

They have to leave for Minnesota right after. It’s a short flight so they don’t get to the hotel too late but Kevin is still pretty beat. He and Blake are still rooming together so he follows him to their room only for Blake to open the door and reveal a single king sized bed.

Blake groans. “You’ve got to be kidding me,” he mutters. 

Kevin has a lot of thoughts in quick succession, but the one that wins out has him shrugging. “It’s no big deal,” he says. 

Blake looks torn. He watches Kevin dump his bag on his usual side of the room and start getting undressed. 

“Dude,” Kevin says. “It’s late and we’ll only be here for one night.” He doesn’t mention any of the reasons why this would be a bad idea because that seems a bit counterproductive.

Kevin instead grabs his toothbrush and heads for the bathroom and by the time he comes back out Blake is sitting on the bed. He’s in his pajamas, a white tee that sticks to his arms and chest and soft flannel bottoms. Kevin decides not to make this weird by staring and gets under the covers.

Kevin’s phone vibrates while Blake is in the bathroom, and when Kevin checks it he sees a text from Jimmy. He’s prepared for his stomach to sink or his mood to turn sour or any of the other emotions he’s come to expect  when Jimmy texts him but it’s just — it’s none of that. 

Kevin’s just tired, really, and he feels a bit weird about sharing a bed with his teammate who he also happens to be into and who he turned down a few days ago, but that’s about it. He opens the text without really thinking about it and types back a  _ thanks  _ to Jimmy’s _ nice goal _ .

It doesn’t feel liberating or anything but it does have Kevin smiling a bit to himself, enough for Blake to pick up on it anyway. He gives Kevin a questioning look and Kevin wants, more than a lot of things, to just spit everything out. 

He wants to say,  _ I like you _ and  _ let’s give this a shot  _ but also not really. It doesn’t feel like the right time, not with Blake barely able to keep his eyes open and Kevin buzzing out of his skin, so Kevin just says, “Just happy about the win, I guess,” which isn’t even a lie. 

Blake smiles and gets into bed next to Kevin. “You should be,” he says, and goes on to start dissecting the game until he gets interrupted by a yawn. 

Kevin laughs. “Go to sleep, you nerd,” he tells him.

“I’m not a nerd,” Blake mutters, but rolls over onto his side and shuts up, so Kevin thinks he’s gotten his point across. 

+

Kevin wakes up with his arm thrown over Blake’s side and thinks about saying something. His nose is almost pressed into Blake’s hair and he wants to breathe but doesn’t want to be creepy so he holds his breath, counts to five and rolls away. 

Blake wakes up a few minutes later, and he looks good, sleep-soft and loose. For the second time in two days Kevin thinks about saying something. But then Blake is getting up, shifting through his bag for his clothes, and Kevin never did have much courage when it came to these things. He says nothing. 

They lose to Minnesota and they lose to Colorado too and Kevin puts it off because it just doesn’t feel like the right time. Blake looks anxious in the same way he had after the two losses in Winnipeg, so Kevin suggests they watch a movie at the hotel room in Arizona.

Honestly, he’s half expecting Blake to turn him down but Blake just breathes out, nods. His shoulders drop and he looks relieved. Kevin gets on Netflix and, on a whim, selects the family movies category. Blake gives him a look but doesn’t question it when Kevin puts on Shrek.

Kevin’s bed is right opposite of the TV, so it makes sense for Kevin to roll his eyes and tell Blake to, “Just sit here, it’s closer.”

“You’re not supposed to sit too close to the TV,” Blake argues, but joins Kevin on his bed. 

Kevin gets pretty into the movie because it’s a good one, but he still notices when Blake’s eyes drift shut and his breathing evens out. He lowers the volume and keeps watching until his own eyes feel heavy. 

He thinks about waking Blake up so he can move to his bed, but Blake looked really tense before and also they’ve shared a bed before, so instead he just grabs the covers off Blake’s bed and throws them over his own. 

It just makes more sense that way.

+

Kevin wakes up first again, this time to Blake’s nose pressed to the back of his neck. It’s nice, and Kevin soaks it in for a while before he starts to feel weird about it and rolls away, as gently as he can. 

Blake wakes up anyway. It seems to take him a while to orientate himself, and then he gets a really guilty look on his face. “Did I fall asleep here?” he asks, and then, before Kevin can even answer, “Sorry.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Kevin says quickly. He opens his mouth to add — something, but nothing comes out. He wants to tell Blake that he’s ready, that they should give this a shot, but it doesn’t feel like the right time again. They have to be down for team breakfast in a bit, and Kevin doesn’t want to rush this. 

Kevin says nothing. 

+

They win in Arizona, thank god. Kevin doesn’t get any points but he doesn’t beat himself up over it. It’s a good game and the important thing is they end the regular season on a win. 

The guys are happy on the plane, and someone has the absolutely catastrophic idea to play never have I ever with shots. Blake tries to talk them out of it, but popular opinion wins out and soon the guys are shooting out increasingly inappropriate questions. 

Kevin usually gets a little queasy on touch down, so he participates for a couple of rounds and then switches to juice, which Laine decides is cheating and automatically disqualifies him. Kevin doesn’t mind. He sticks around and watches the guys — his guys — make fools of themselves.

Blake doesn’t play either, declaring himself a glorified babysitter because, “You guys need one.”

Of course this only means that Kevin has plenty of time to steal glances at Blake while pretending he isn't. It doesn’t turn out to be a good plan. In fact, it only results in Kevin thinking about all the things he wants to say to him and how he’s running out of time to say them. 

By the time they land in Winnipeg, Kevin is a mess of nerves, practically vibrating out of his skin. 

The thing is, Kevin, all this time, has been waiting for the right time, the time that it will make the most sense. He’s realizing now that this was pretty stupid of him. There’s never going to be a right time, only time wasted doing nothing. 

So Kevin follows Blake to his car because they’re parked close together and somewhere along the way finds the courage to blurt out, “I wanted to talk to you.”

Blake misses a step, so Kevin thinks he gets what he’s talking about. Then he says, “Oh?” and Kevin is pretty sure about it.

“Yeah, so,” Kevin starts. They’ve reached his car now, and Kevin thinks he really should have taken a couple more shots because the juice isn’t cutting it in the liquid courage department. 

“I just —” He looks down, then back at Blake, and Blake looks — hopeful, Kevin thinks is the word. Encouraging for sure. “You wouldn't be my rebound,” he finally manages. “You’re already way more than that.”

Kevin’s heart is racing in his chest as he gets the words out, but it’s worth it to see Blake’s shoulders drop in relief once he hears them. 

“That’s — that’s neat,” Blake manages, and Kevin thinks this is the only occasion where Balek doesn’t know what to say. 

It’s okay though, Kevin can take this one. “So, a date,” he explains. “That’d be good, I think.” then adds, somewhat belated, “If you’re still into that, I mean.”

That seems to kick Blake into gear. “I — yeah, I’d be into that.” He looks away for a moment, then back at Kevin. He’s smiling. “Can I kiss you or is that…” he trails off, uncertain. 

Kevin spares a moment to look around the parking lot, but it’s just the two of them and it’s dark anyway, the middle of the night. “Yeah, that — I’d like that,” he says. 

Blake breathes out, and then they’re both moving closer, leaning in until their lips are pressed together. Blake’s lips are still chapped, and they taste like vanilla, like the first time they kissed, back at Blake’s condo. His beard tickles a little, pinches at Kevin’s lips, and the kiss is as good as Kevin remembered except not at all because it’s even better.

+

Kevin doesn’t know a lot of things, he thinks, as he suits up for Game 1. 

He doesn’t know how this series will play out, he doesn’t know how this offseason is going to go. Doesn’t know how this thing with Blake will play out. If it will leave him with even more baggage or martyrdom or whatever Scheifs wants to call it.

But there are a few things he knows too. He knows he believes in this team,  _ his  _ team. He knows if the Jets offer him a contract, he’ll say yes. And he knows waiting for the right moment got him nowhere. 

Across the locker room, Blake meets Kevin’s eyes and smiles. Kevin returns it and his stomach does this thing where it jumps and curls into itself at the same, like it’s trying to lurch hearts all over the place. Kevin shakes his head fondly at the thought. 

Baggage or not, Blake is worth it; Kevin knows that, too.

 

**Author's Note:**

> hope u enjoyed :DD
> 
> im on twitter @hearteyesmofo where i make more lame puns


End file.
